whatever...

where to start?
Bills this time of year suck. Seems we have more money going out this time of year than any other...oh ....wait....WE DO.

Between birthdays, Christmas, regular bills, van tags and gas bill from dragging the kids to Tampa every time they get sick...I HATE THE LAST TWO MONTHS OF THE YEAR....
I don't think I made my point.

I HATE THE LAST TWO MONTHS OF THE YEAR!!!!!

I'm over this. Until income tax time we are so strapped for money. Last year it was the same thing. Last year we actually went and did the whole H&R block thing. Oh well, I guess I should be happy that we are broke, and not in debt right? Doesn't do much good when your in it.

I know, greenier pastures are coming. blah blah blah...but in the thick of it...I can't see the forest for the trees.

"daybook"

Outside My Window...dark. Stupid Winter.

I am thinking...that I'm sick of iCarly

I am thankful for...my family and friends

From the kitchen...the smell of cheesy chicken enchilata's

I am wearing...Bill's Christmas boxers and a school t-shirt

I am creating...bad habits.I am going...crazy

I am reading...Losing It, an dgaining my life back one pound at a time by Valerie Bertinelli

I am hearing...the fan on my computer and iCarly

Around the house...Christmas Tree has lights on it, the girls are not fighting, dinner is cooking.

One of my favorite things...Hot Chocolate

A Few Plans For The Rest Of The Week: Go to work, take the girls to church, work on my Christmas presents, finish everything so I can have a real weekend off.

What do you give a hooker with a cold?

you like that title? LOL! Probably get some google hits on that I don't want!

Well, Bill remembered that I needed a new "G" hook, and he got me one Wednesday night when he went to Walmart while he was killing time waiting on the girls at church.

I'm on a crocheting spree. It started with the SweetPeace fall swap. I had no idea that I could actually create something this awesome. I'm amazed at myself, and am constantly asking Bill "How cool is this?"


So, I decided to make one of our family. Here is Bill's snowman.


That hat was REALLY hard to make. But it was so worth it! It looks soooo cool.


So, now I'm on this crocheting kick. I like to crochet, but I'm on a roll now.

Right now I'm making a going away present for Kayla. She's going to be off in a MUCH colder climate than what she's use to, so I'm making her a ...wait, if I tell you, then it won't be a surprise! he he he.

Here's a picture of Bill's snowman, surrounded by 3 "kid" snowmen.

Been a while

ok, I know it's been a while, but I wanted to post about my SweetPeace swap, but I have not wanted to give away what I was doing. So, I'll just state that I'm done, and all I need to do is mail them out! I can't wait to see what the others are making!

I think I really need to get on here and update this puppy.

But I don't wanna!

I keep getting the feeling that I need to homeschool Brina, but I just don't want to.

ADD

I love my ADD child. That's right. I love her. I don't know what to do with her most days, except love her.
She's mine. I claim her.

Now...what to do with her.

She had such a hard time passing Hillsborough Writes last year. I'm afraid of her not passing the stupid FCATs. I said it last year, and I'll say it this year. If she doesn't pass the FCATs this year, I'll homeschool her. I think she'd benefit from homeschooling.
Tomorrow I need to get off my duff and do something about getting her tested further. I don't want to lose her into the cracks of this crappy educational system.

Yarn Bombing.

ok, so Dee did it, then I was all OMGosh that's so cool. So, I did it.

Here's the mark. Chamber of Commerce building in Brandon.



It's at the top of the stairs on the inside stairwell.



Sabrina was with me, and wanted to show it off. LOL, I may have created a monster! LOL.



And here is the view from the top of the stairs.



I admit...I was totally excited to do it. I'm already trying to figure out where to put my next one. My mom says they probably got me on camera doing it. Oh well. I guess I'll be sorry when it comes back to bite me in the butt. However, I don't think that I'll be sorry. Probably tell them I won't do it again, and then of course I won't do it again...and it'll suck cause it was so fun!

Mothers Intuition

Today while I was at the chiropractors office, the chiro looked at Brina and said something about the dark circles under her eyes, and asked if she had a sugar problem.

I have suspected for years that Brina has a blood sugar problem.

I googled "dark circles under eyes" and "dark circles under children's eyes" and got conflicting results.

Some say there's nothing to be worried about.
Others say it's a sign of too much sugar in the blood.

Hmmm, that's an aweful wide range of worry. From little things like adding more water to their diet, or sleeping more-to having too much sugar and carbohydrate intake.... This would be the DOWN side of doing research on the internet.

I guess it's time to ask the doctor for some blood tests for Sabrina. Diabetes runs in both sides of her family. Her bio-father has untreated diabetes (or at least his resting blood sugar says he does) and my mother has diabetes, as her mother, her grand mother and probably great-grand mother had. So, there's a big family history. I worry about Shelby too, because her grandmother has diabetes, and my mother is diabetic, so she's got the predisposition too. Also, weight is a factor. Brina has slimmed down, but Shelby is a chunk.

We are eating healthier, but it just doesn't seem to be enough. I'll have to rethink our menu's. Sometimes that (to my laziness) is too much. Maybe I just need to approach it as a chore. The girls do the dishes, mommy does the menu planning. Making sure to take in account Bill and Brina's acid reflux, brina and possibly shelby's blood sugar, Bill's hypertension, Zsusanna and Stephanie's food allergies, Mine, Bill's, Brina's, and Shelby's weight. That's A LOT of work when planning a menu. That's aweful stressful when I think about it. Had to take a deep breath there.

oh well. Chores are ready to be done. Time for me to get off the computer and give some direction to the children.

Let the cutting....BEGIN!

Ok, so I started cutting today. Just like I said I would. I figure if I cut up one pair of jeans a day, that would be an excellent goal. Today I got 22 strips from a grown ups pair of jeans. Pretty nice I think!

So, it started as this. Just a pile of non-descript blue jeans.



Zsusanna sat at the table and "helped" me. Mostly she just ate sunflower seeds and tried to shove things into the pictures I was taking.


This only took me about 45 minutes. The cutting, pretending to wear the "shorts" I had just cut (yeah, I'll spare you those pictures that were never taken). You know, just having fun during the process.



I thought I was done, and was pretty excited to have gotten 11 strips from one pair. Imagine my surprise when I found the other leg on the bench...ACK!


I must add that Zsusanna is NOT flipping me off. She zoomed in on the camera to specifically SHOW me that she had two fingers up...not one. We believe you Woody.


I told you she was shoving things into the picture area. Here she is with the hand thing.


I've decided to tie the strips up, cause it'll keep them more tidy, together, composed, neat...pick a word that means the same as what I'm trying to say...cause I can't seem to. Oh yeah, and the bottle of pop Missy is sliding across the table.


And of course, the picture that makes it all worth while. Here she is, the one, the only...MOOP! Isn't she "stylin'"

Goals

I have a goal.

Actually, I have a crafty goal. My "new years resolution" was to not buy any more cloth or yarn until I have used up my supply.

When we moved in here, I promised my husband a rug. The goal is to turn this.


Into a rag rug.

Wish me luck. I begin cutting this weekend. EEK!

My Pony

Here is a pic of Shelby. She didn't start school this year, but it is her last year at home.
Click on the picture to see the picture of Shelby. Right now all you can see is the back of Bill's computer chair LOL.

First Day Pics.

My middle Schoolers.


My Missy.


All my girls!


Stephanie eating breakfast.


Brina-this was a surprise picture.


They are getting so big! Next year Shelby goes into Kindergarten...what on Earth are we gonna do?

First School Night!

Well, Shelby's in bed (she actually fell asleep in front of the TV), Sabrina's in the shower, Stephanie put herself to bed, and Zsusanna is bending herself into a pretzel. Bill said he's the perfect butt kicking pose. I have to agree! LOL Maybe one day I can get a pic of her doing it LOL.

So, I got tomorrow off-went into work on the way home from the chiropractor and asked if she had too many working tomorrow, and she said it was fine.

Bill has a doctors appoitment September 9th. Maybe we'll find out what's going on. I'm sure they'll put him on BP medication. Even tho we've greatly reduced the crap in our diets, his BP is still running a little high. However, it's come down A LOT!

Tomorrow, I'm going to have to remember that when the alarm goes off, I still have to get up. Hopefully it works.

/facepalm

an other facepalm. yes, an other. We're having a hard time getting this house crap taken care of. I mean-it's horrible. I don't know what to do here. I have NO CLUE what to do. I don't think I have the credit to do this. Maybe this is why they pushed so hard for us to get a loan for the place? I wonder what I can do about it. What can I do. I don't think I could get a loan. I don't know what kind of down payment we're going to have. That would be a wonderful thing to know. I mean...COME ON!!!!!!!!! We need to catch a break people. I'm going to be fasting tomorrow. I have to drink water, because of the whole getting a massage tomorrow and need to get the toxins out of my system-but food is off limits. I can't. There is just TOO much to do. Sunday is fast Sunday anyway. Maybe I'll actually remember.

I love my family. I can't stand what has happened to us. I don't know what to do.

crafty

I've been feeling crafty lately.

I really wanna make some cupcakes. I think they are SO cool looking.

The girls are also going to be making their new cousin a baby quilt. Then, I want to make my brothers girlfriend a baby blanket too. So many things that I wanna do, but I wonder if I'll ever get around to it.

oh well...if I ever get to it, I'll post pics.

Will I ever?

be more than just a CNA? I have long term care experience and rehabilitation experience. Do I REALLY wanna do this the rest of my life? that's a big fat NO.

I want to do phlebotomy, or surgical tech. SOMETHING. I mean, I want to be a nurse, but do I wanna be a nurse that pushes a cart? I think a surgical tech would be a MUCH better thing for me. I mean, (ok, this may get a little gross for you squeemish people) how cool would it be to see people get cut open, and sewn shut, and me be in charge of either handing over of the instruments, or sucking up the blood? That would be cool!!!!!!

/facepalm


Thank goodness tomorrow's payday.


what do i wanna be when i grow up????

why?

I have one day off...ONE DAY. Today I need to pay the water bill from the other place, pick up some meds for the people who use to live here, mail them out, go grocery shopping, and I'm sure there's something else that I forgot...oh yeah, go check out prices on a bed and a kitchen table.

It's 1:30 in the afternoon, my shorts are still wet, and in the dryer, the girls have been "cleaning" their rooms for 2.5 hours now, and they are STILL not done. The two middle girls are treating me with such disrespect, that I told them they are not treating me like I'm thier mom. They are treating me like I'm just some lady they live with. No more of them being told "well I/she pays the bills". No more, because that is what they are treating me like. I feel a bit like Rodney Dangerfield here...no respect I tell ya...no respect.

so, I just hand my head and hope they don't grow up to be seriel killers and anti-social phreaks of nature.

Moved in

We may be living out of boxes...and S...L...O...W...L...Y putting things away, but we are completely moved out of the other house and in our "own" place!

WOOT!

moving sux

I hate it. I hate it all.

I hate moving. I hate packing. I hate the person I have to become to get anything done. I have one day off, we have to be out of here within 2 days. She hasn't contacted me about how to get the keys. NOTHING.

I slept in. Shouldn't have, but I did. I woke up, my right leg is asleep and slighly numb (2 hours later still) Oh yeah, I can't get it fixed because the lady who hit me didn't carry bodily injury coverage. I'M SCREWED.

So, I've been working for 2 hours. Doing the kitchen, had the girls doing odd jobs trying to pack up stuff to get it out of this house. Well, I'm just in a bad mood I guess cause there is NOTHING nice that I want to say about my family right now.

We're moving. No, it's not pleasant...no it's not carefree and fun.

I have many words that would make a salior blush going thru my head.

i'm gonna walk away now...

As the world falls down

ok, it's been a WONDERFUL month hasn't it...

I'm over it... I don't want to go on. I'm so completely done with all life has thrown at me...

I've been on the verge of tears since this stupid accident occured.
From not being able to get my van fixed, to the attorney not talking to me. Then today I got a letter in the mail. Since there can not be a recovery in my case, they are closing my file. So long, far well, auf weidersehn.

I'm so sick of hearing about blood from a turnip....blood from a turnip.

my kids need "under clothing" and I don't have the money for it.

I'm so angry...

Medicaid

cruel joke...

Take baby to hospital.

Baby throws fit.

Baby embarresses the non-embarressable mother.

Baby has nasty ear infection.

Mommy gets prescription.

Mommy goes to drop off script at CVS.

CVS lady says "I'm sorry, you don't have coverage any more"

mommy so needs a massage.

Explain

Maybe I should explain my /facepalm.

I'm anxiety ridden. I hate driving now, but still like to get out of the house. We JUST bought a van-and we don't know how well it would work to get thru 3 states. I want April to come down and visit, but with everything going on right now, I don't know if I could handle it.

I have work, and I have chiro appointments.
I have a lot of worry and anger about the accident. I don't want to think about it, but I find that there are times when I obsess about it. 2 feet I'd be injured...3 feet I'd be dead. I know it wasn't my time, and usually I'm the one who's all "It happened for a reason" and all that, but not this time. I just keep thinking "why me". What did I do? What reason? Our van was a good van. She was paid for. Now, I've missed 3 days of work, we've had to buy a new-to-us van, and now we're spending LOADS of money on gas to get me to and from appointments. I'm in a constant ache SOMEWHERE on my body at all times. I complain too much, and yet it doesn't seem like enough. It sucks.

So, now we don't have money to pay the rent this month, or the mortgage on the next place. I don't have money for the water bill deposit, and I don't have money for the electric deposit. I bought groceries this week, and I'll be able to pay the water and electric bill. I put gas in the car so I could get to work and my chiro appointments.

kids are complaining about being "bored" with Tv. Wait until they don't have cable at the new place. I'm not going to deal with it. They wanna complain about being "bored"....they'll see what's up. I'm over everything. I find myself more angry lately. Earlier I cried-for seemingly no reason. I sucked it up real quick and no one noticed, but still, this is how it's going. Anxiety attacks are mounting. I had a full fledged attack the other day. Chest pains, wanting to cry, then crying. eh...guess I'm just going to suck it up and deal with it. Even if I have PTSD or something like it-not like I can get help for it. We don't have insurance, cause they would bend me over and take out $250 a week. Talk about crazy. How would we live on that? It's hard enough to live on what I do make and bring home. So, we get screwed all around. Kids have medicaid...but the adults get screwed. They have down that I get child support...there's a funny joke right? Child support? What is that? I recieve child support-it's called 72 hours a week at Brandon Health and Rehabilitation Center. It's not just child support, it's spouse support, self support, cat support, house support, van support, geico support, TECO support, BOCC support, Brighthouse support. Yeah...I bust my butt to pay the bills.

My kids have just lost cable priveledges. I bust my butt (as I just said) to pay for cable, so they don't have to "be bored" and all I heard this morning was whining and complaining about how boring the shows are. Hmmm, remember 2 months ago when we didn't have cable? Wow, how ungrateful can you be? No more cable for them. The only cable TV in this house is in my room. I pay for it, I'm watching it. I'm done-I'm over it. I'm overly done. this is my /facepalm....this is why I can't get April-because I'm so stressed out. I don't need a break-I need a hug.

April

/facepalm







Here she is....suppose to come visit for a few weeks this summer.

Summer Fun

I'm trying to figure out how to make it worth our while to go out and do the free bowling thing. I want to do it AT LEAST once a week. I mean, right now we can't because SOME BODY SMACKED ME FROM THE LEFT AND HASN'T SAID THEIR SORRY OR PAID FOR MY CAR yet. (no, I'm not bitter)

But, I was thinking about it, and thought we could take a picnic (kids love picnics) and then go eat at Lettuce Lake Park. It's right down the road, and the kids havn't been there in a while. I mean, where else can we get pictures of gators behind the kids? I mean, short of the zoo or the Everglades.

ahhh, yes...summer fun. I can('t) wait.

they gave it to the cook?

Ok, so they handed out these little envelopes that had cute little generic notes inside them

Dear _________________________

Thank you for your interest in the Central Supply position.

We have hired an applicant who most closely fits the criteria necessary for the functioning of the department.

Thank-you again.

Sincerly,

___________________________
DON



___________________________
BOM






Ok, so what, I'm not even worth a REAL letter? One that they could've typed out, rather than just write my name in?

oh yeah, they gave the position to the night cook. I'm like HUH?

They also hired 3 new people for day shift who did orientation TODAY, and there was a new girl on days when I got there....HELLO?????? I put in to go to days SIX MONTHS AGO!!!!!


GRRRRR, whatever...time to find a new job.

I think I killed the van

Ok, it wasn't actually me. I was coming home from work Thursday night, and when I tried to cross SR-60, a car ran the red light. Smacked me on the drivers side, but only tore the front of the car off. The airbag deployed, and I got a red mark on my wrist. It may have got me in the face, but I don't have any bruises. Under my right eye was tender for a day or so, but I can't say for sure if I caught it in the face, since I don't remember anything but "OH CRAP-SMACK" I did manage to steer away from the on coming car, which is probably why I'm able to sit here and wonder why I'm typing because it hurts my forearms. Actually I want to get it all down before I forget. Although I really don't think I'm going to forget any time soon, because I'm having reoccuring nightmares of the accident. :( something I've never had before.

Anywho...So, I was attempting to go thru the green light,(not just a green light, but a WAY green light, I wasn't the first person in line to cross thru the light :-O) and got smacked. Air bag popped out, and it stunk to high heaven. Smelled like someone decided the van was a shooting range. I rolled down the windows and turned off the car. (I laughed to myself that the radio doesn't work in the mornings, but smack it around and it works...bewildering LOL)

So, as I'm rolling down the windows, a face I know comes up to the passenger side and asks if I'm ok-it's a girl from work YEAH, then on the other side comes an other co-worker. It was such a relief to have someone I KNOW be there. I lost it. The nurse (2nd co-worker) tried to call 911, but ended up calling Bill. She asked Bill if he was 911 and when he said no, she hung up. I called him back to let him know I was alright, but I couldn't finish talking, and the nurse took over and asked Bill to call 911, and he did. (my hero) A police cruiser pushed the van out of the road, and did the normal, take down of information. Paramedics showed up, and at that moment I didn't think I was hurt-I was more worried about how I was going to get home, get my paycheck the next day and groceries in the house. I wondered how I was going to get to work. The lady police officer told me to get my butt back in the van so I wouldn't get pneumonia-oh yeah did I meantion we were on like, day 4 of a constant rain? I was too busy freaking out to realize I was in the rain.

When Bill showed up, I lost it again. I was SOOOO happy he was there. He drove Rogers truck to come get me. He brought Jimmy so he could tell us the verdict on the van. I still wonder what the van looks like in the daylight. If I get a chance, I'll take a picture of it. I think it's totalled, but now days they can bend a frame back. I'm worried though. I don't want a car payment. Then again, we need a car. ho hum...screwed is the word that comes to mind.

So, I went to a new chiropractor Friday. (I'm not going to sit at home and mess around with this) She adjusted me, and I got some therapy. I went back Saturday, and got adjusted and a massage. I like this place better. They are very relaxed, and I'm thinking of asking about their vitamin injections-cause I don't do pills.

So, this morning I woke up feeling much better. Granted my back still feels HORRID, but at least I can walk with out help. Right now I have an ice pack on it. I'll probably have to get one for my left arm when I'm done with this entry.

I was able to take a shower last night-with Bill's help :D (Did I mention he's my hero) Zsusanna brushed my hair and braided it for me so I could go to bed. I still can't put on my own seat belt. :( But with a kid in the back seat, I'm good. I'm going back to work Tuesday. I'm going to ask the girls at work for LOADS of help. Hopefully all the help I've spread around there will come back. I am more than willing to help anyone, hopefully these girls will be more than willing to help me out. I can't afford to lose any more work. I've already lost 2 days-which is about $150. For a family that lives paycheck to paycheck?...that is A LOT. That right there is groceries for 2 weeks.

Work

Got a call from work this morning. The DON wants me to come in tomorrow and talk to her about the Central Supply Position. I'm hoping it's a job offer, and not just an interview. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't nervous. The whole money thing kinda scares me. I have to deal with vendors and such. I mean, I ordered inventory and closed the books when I worked at Marco's. Same concepts, different product. Instead of ordering cheese and meat, I'll be ordering breifs and gloves. Right now I know that we are short of items. We've been with out a central supply person for going on 2 weeks now. I'm afraid to see what kind of mess it is in there, because a lot of people have been in there getting things they need.

I'm trying not to count my chickens, but it's hard, cause I'm SOOOOO excited. This would be a GREAT thing for our family.

Speaking of family-here's a picture of the girls. I know, you think you've already seen it, but this is the siggy I use for the forums I go to. Just added a personal touch. LOL

A/C

it broke.

We are day 4 of no air conditioner.




We tried to fix it, but it worked for a whopping 5 hours after being "fixed".
I asked Rosalee if she would let us use her window unit until she can come get it. She said yes! I told her how thankful I was and even blurted out "I LOVE YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!!!!!!" She laughed.

It may only be for a few weeks, but it'll hopefully give us enough time to be able to buy our own. This having the a/c break right before we move REALLY sucks because we JUST told the landlady we're moving-then the next day the a/c unit dies. I have not told her the swing out front is broken either. /facepalm


ho hum.


Stephanie borrowed 4 Hannah Monatana/Miley Cyrus CD's from her friend. Zsusanna wants some on her mp3 player. She really needs a memory card for it. If she doesn't have the songs in mp3 format, she only gets like, one album on there. I told her that's part of the problem of having one of the first affordable mp3 players.

BROKEN

our a/c is broken....

brightside? our TECO bill will be awesomely low!

The Storage Room

I finally took pictures of the storage room. It's a mess.

I can't wait to get everything in there to where it belongs, and to stop living out of the boxes.

I called Pam, and let her know that we were going to buy the house down the street, and she sounded bummed because we were going to buy a different house. Ho Hum....

Moving...again

a month.

that's all that's left. We are moving into our own place in a month. What am I suppose to do with my own place? I've alwasy wanted it, but I don't really wanna deal with all the crap that goes along with it. What if the roof caves in? What if the back yard gets a sinkhole? What if the toliet in the master bedroom explodes and the sewer backs up into the whole house? These are the questions that boogle my mind when I think of moving and owning our own place. I think I'm crazy...I really do.

Tomorrow I go down and help Dianne go thru some of her stuff for about an hour or so.

oh man....wish me luck, and Lord grant me the ability to say NO I DON'T NEED IT. Maybe I should practice....
no
no
no
no
no.....


maybe it'll work.

Pic of the kiddies

Guess I should plop one of these on here huh.






sucks that it won't put the whole picture on there, then people have to click on it to get the whole thing :(


Oh well, I'll learn right?

First One

here it goes...I have no clue if it'll stick, but here we go.