I'm 'ok'

I've been putting off this post for a while, because it's not an easy thing to admit to.
Admitting things to hubby is normally easy, but even this I sent as a text message.  I'm depressed.  So many things happened at once, and I couldn't handle it . Me. Mrs I can handle anything.
 I. Couldn't. Handle it.
So, while I was texting my husband about how I felt, and praying about what I should do, the phone rang, and it was the doctors office telling me it was time to make my appointment.  Ok, point taken.  I called and made an appointment.

Best decision I've made in a long time.

The first day after starting medication I rolled over, looked at Imzadi and said (actually I whined) "This is suppose to make me feel better." He told me I know better, that it doesn't work that fast.
I told him I know, but still...I wasn't a nurse at that point, I was a patient.
The next day I had to work, and I was "ok"  Literally that.  "ok"  I was able to go to work, and function.  Quite a different feeling than the last time I had gone.  I had a meltdown and cried at work the time before that.  The only reason I stayed and didn't walk out?  I didn't want to lose my license.  I at least still had the mind to think ahead and know that losing my license would detriment my family's life. I could not make them suffer on account of me not being to handle life.
The next few days I found myself getting better and better. 

A week later, I noticed at my daugher's volleyball game, I felt joy.  I got excited.  I'm feeling like I did before.  I hope this lasts.  I don't think I'll be on medication for the rest of my life, but I'm glad that I made the decision to RIGHT NOW take back my life and start feeling human again.