So here we are again. The end of a year, yet an other end. Now come all the resolutions. The I don't wanna do _____ any more, or the I wanna do more _____. It becomes a cycle of promises we make to ourselves, that no one ever keeps for any longer than at the most a month.
I'm no different. (I know, it's hard to imagine; me princess of all that is good and wonderful. LOL. Ok, moving on, nothing to see.) I like to say I'll lose weight, I'll become more organized (that is a hysterical joke to anyone who knows me), I'll go to bed on time (my kids will think THAT is hilarious), all this with the FULL intent of actually doing it. But then I begin to trick myself into "one time won't hurt me". So, I eat that candy bar, because it's only one. Or I'll stay up and watch just "one more episode". Then I find myself saying "Well, I did it last night and I was ok, so I'll do it again, because I can handle it". Next thing I know, I'm sitting on the couch eating a snickers, drinking a coke and watching Star Trek until midnight!
Vicious cycle I tell ya.
So, this year I'm going to keep doing what it is I have been doing, simply because if it ain't broke, don't fix it right?
I'm going to start school this year, so why add to the stress? I'm beginning 2 years of intensive RN training, that if at any time I fall under an 80% I fail. No pressure.
So, I'll continue on my way, buying stuff at the dollar store (which, I totally think my sister should get a discount for working there; then I could get a family discount. :-D), going to Winn-Dixie to buy my groceries because of their gas rewards program. (oh yeah, forgot to tell ya'll that I jumped grocery stores) Things that help me and my family save money. Things that make our family work. Sure things will get rough in the New Year. Sure things will get so bad that I'll wonder what I was thinking. But what will get us through these hard times is the knowledge that things WILL get better, and now is not forever.
Our future is ours alone to shape. We can't control everything that happens to us, but we CAN control how we respond to it.
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
I'm so horrible at this sometimes
We've been sick at our house. Bill's been sick for weeks, and I'm just getting over a week long cold, actually since it's Wednesday, I'm getting over a 10 day cold. I came down with it the last weekend I worked. Stephanie is now sick with what we had, and on top of it, it's "the most wonderful time of the year"
This is the time of year when everything is beating down on my head like I'm in charge.
There are so many things that I should be doing right now.
This is why nothing ever gets done with me. I sit down to do one thing, and then all of a sudden I'm hit with ALL the things that I think I need to do. EVERY SINGLE THING. I don't know if I even need to do all of these things; yet there are things on there that I KNOW I need to do, and there are things on there that I know I want to do. Whatever people!
Can you see my frustration? Can you feel it? Can you so completely understand that you are right here with me clicking your fingers in discontent to the tune of....oh lets go with No Rain by Blind Melon? Between the dog jumping up on me for who knows what reason, and the children playing with the PS eye; I think I just may end up on the hill wearing my bumble bee outfit dancing in the flowers too. I wonder if netflix has White Christmas.....nope-how stupid is that.
Alright. This has turned into a great big fat rant, and that is not at all what I wanted it to be. I wanted to come and enlighten you on my wonderous Christmas spending spree at the dollar tree.
Ahhh, I think I'll try to start again tomorrow. Maybe show a few pics that I took just for the blog. Maybe even not go off on some side rant that people will try to have me committed for. LOL.....maybe, just maybe I'll read this tomorrow and think HOLY CRAP! WHAT WAS I THINKING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is the time of year when everything is beating down on my head like I'm in charge.
There are so many things that I should be doing right now.
- blogging. Oh wait, that's what I'm doing
- setting up my school notebooks
- (this should really be a subset of #2) printing out the work my teacher has e-mailed the class.
- compiling my Visiting Teaching information.
- writing a letter to the Hillsborough County School District
- deciding what bill I'm not going to pay because I have to buy expensive books for school
- deciding which child to berate (not really people, relax-sheesh)
- watching Star Trek Next Generation
- going to bed
- wrapping presents
- reading
- making out Christmas cards (I know they won't get there in time)
- writing a few letters
- cleaning the house
- cleaning the girls rooms (I know they'd love that one)
- figure out what's left to buy for Christmas
- figuring out how much money I have to spend on my school books
- taking away the Play Station eye-I'm sick of hearing it
- walking away from the computer so I don't freak out
- catch up on my blogging-I even took PICTURES!!!!!
- figure out when Santa leaves the North Pole (norad rocks)
- see if Stephanie's fever has come back
- make sure Brina has cleaned up the kitchen properly
- change the chores around so we can get use to me not being an active member of this household
- get over this OCD clicking of my fingers things...for petes sake, no one-especially me-wants to hear me clicking out whatever song is in my head before I can talk to them, or even finish a single thought!!!!!
- exercise
- journal
- pet the dog
- cut the dogs toe nails
- walk the dog
- take a shower
- take a $5 bath (we have a garden tub, so we call it the $5 bath cause it probably takes that much water to fill it up)
- clean out the van
- play tetris
- play pipeworks (my new obsession)
This is why nothing ever gets done with me. I sit down to do one thing, and then all of a sudden I'm hit with ALL the things that I think I need to do. EVERY SINGLE THING. I don't know if I even need to do all of these things; yet there are things on there that I KNOW I need to do, and there are things on there that I know I want to do. Whatever people!
Can you see my frustration? Can you feel it? Can you so completely understand that you are right here with me clicking your fingers in discontent to the tune of....oh lets go with No Rain by Blind Melon? Between the dog jumping up on me for who knows what reason, and the children playing with the PS eye; I think I just may end up on the hill wearing my bumble bee outfit dancing in the flowers too. I wonder if netflix has White Christmas.....nope-how stupid is that.
Alright. This has turned into a great big fat rant, and that is not at all what I wanted it to be. I wanted to come and enlighten you on my wonderous Christmas spending spree at the dollar tree.
Ahhh, I think I'll try to start again tomorrow. Maybe show a few pics that I took just for the blog. Maybe even not go off on some side rant that people will try to have me committed for. LOL.....maybe, just maybe I'll read this tomorrow and think HOLY CRAP! WHAT WAS I THINKING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Frustration
So far this week our bank balance is in the black. Awesome! Yeah, not really. I have 22 miles left in the van, and I know Bill is running low. Tonight is Church. This is the second time we've missed Church because we couldn't afford gas. Wonderful right?
alright, today is a different day than the previous paragraph. Infact, that was last night. This morning I put $2 in the gas tank. TWO WHOLE DOLLARS. Hey, it worked out. So, we have a whopping $.62 in the bank. ALRIGHTY! PARTY!
Good news though, I got my financial aide straightened out.
alright, today is a different day than the previous paragraph. Infact, that was last night. This morning I put $2 in the gas tank. TWO WHOLE DOLLARS. Hey, it worked out. So, we have a whopping $.62 in the bank. ALRIGHTY! PARTY!
Good news though, I got my financial aide straightened out.
Friday, November 11, 2011
Been a long time since I......
well, the answer certainly isn't "rock and rolled". Rock and roll is a part of this house all day everyday. Even today Zsusanna busted out the violin and played some rock for us! Woo Hoo! Rockin' on the violin! Anywho... I have a bad habit of going long periods of time and not blogging. BAD BLOGGER, BAD BAD BLOGGER.
Recently I've considered selling stuff on etsy. WHAT? ME? noooo, not possibly true. I've always wanted to make money
on crocheting. I LOVE to crochet, and it is relaxing (unless the dog runs away with my skein and knots it up.)
I see so many people on there selling their wares, and I think....I could do that-couldn't I? Bill asked me today, how long would it take me to make a snowman. It would take a day if I sat my butt down and did it from start to finish, not surfing the net, not checking out the forums, not playing WoW. Yes, if I sat down and treated it like a job, I bet I could make SOME kind of money off my goods. Problem is... me.
I enjoy what I do, when I do it. I don't have a set pattern that I follow, I make it up as I go along. That means, I don't ususally get the same item twice. Snowmen, well, that is a LITTLE bit different, because a ball is a ball, unless I think I wanna change it up, then I get like, oh, an oval or something.
So, although it is true that I could probably make a little money on the side selling my incredibly wonderful stuff, I know myself, and I'm a bit lazy. Yes, I said it, and I put it right out there on that table. Hey, at least I admit to it. No trying to sugar coat anything. I'm good at my job, I bust my butt at my job, when I get home at the end of the day, I'm tired and I don't want to be pressured into making something. If I WANT to make something, that is completely different. However, I fear that if I make something because I'm going to sell it, that I will become so anal retentive about it having to be perfect, I just may make everyone's life a living nightmare. On the other hand, because I know it may only take me a day to put an item fully together from start to finish, I may put it off and put it off, and then when I realize I only have "X" amount of time to go, then I"ll bust my butt to finish, just barely making the deadline, and still being anal about things not looking right, and then having to listen to whomever (myself) berate me by telling me "If you had started this earlier, you wouldn't feel like this." Sounds like I know myself pretty well huh?
I know I can do this. I KNOW I can do this. I'm not stupid by any means, and I make pretty good stuff; but why doesn't that translate any farther than my mouth? Why can't I realize it? Hmmm, something to think about maybe. However, I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to make money on my "wares". See my issue?
ahhh, if only it were that easy to convince myself of my own worth.
Recently I've considered selling stuff on etsy. WHAT? ME? noooo, not possibly true. I've always wanted to make money
on crocheting. I LOVE to crochet, and it is relaxing (unless the dog runs away with my skein and knots it up.)
 |
| Making the Grab! |
 |
| Making a run for it! |
 |
| What the blue looked like when we got it back |
 |
| "Ooooh, I got it again!" |
 |
| Not giving it up so easy this time |
 |
| and this is him trying to run away with the white. See what he did to the blue? |
I see so many people on there selling their wares, and I think....I could do that-couldn't I? Bill asked me today, how long would it take me to make a snowman. It would take a day if I sat my butt down and did it from start to finish, not surfing the net, not checking out the forums, not playing WoW. Yes, if I sat down and treated it like a job, I bet I could make SOME kind of money off my goods. Problem is... me.
I enjoy what I do, when I do it. I don't have a set pattern that I follow, I make it up as I go along. That means, I don't ususally get the same item twice. Snowmen, well, that is a LITTLE bit different, because a ball is a ball, unless I think I wanna change it up, then I get like, oh, an oval or something.
So, although it is true that I could probably make a little money on the side selling my incredibly wonderful stuff, I know myself, and I'm a bit lazy. Yes, I said it, and I put it right out there on that table. Hey, at least I admit to it. No trying to sugar coat anything. I'm good at my job, I bust my butt at my job, when I get home at the end of the day, I'm tired and I don't want to be pressured into making something. If I WANT to make something, that is completely different. However, I fear that if I make something because I'm going to sell it, that I will become so anal retentive about it having to be perfect, I just may make everyone's life a living nightmare. On the other hand, because I know it may only take me a day to put an item fully together from start to finish, I may put it off and put it off, and then when I realize I only have "X" amount of time to go, then I"ll bust my butt to finish, just barely making the deadline, and still being anal about things not looking right, and then having to listen to whomever (myself) berate me by telling me "If you had started this earlier, you wouldn't feel like this." Sounds like I know myself pretty well huh?
I know I can do this. I KNOW I can do this. I'm not stupid by any means, and I make pretty good stuff; but why doesn't that translate any farther than my mouth? Why can't I realize it? Hmmm, something to think about maybe. However, I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to make money on my "wares". See my issue?
ahhh, if only it were that easy to convince myself of my own worth.
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
blah-ity blah blah blah blech
I just feel so...meh
I also feel buggy. You know the feeling you get when you feel like bugs are crawling all over you, but they are not? Like you just found out your close friends have lice, but you have not been able to go home and check youself out. Grrrrrr, I feel nasty buggy. (no, nobody has bugs)
I didn't take my meds last night, because it was too late to take them when I got home. I wanted to be able to wake up in the morning and go to work. Really, it was only one night; but today (tonight actually) I feel really on edge, and irritated, and blah. I seem to have a short fuse. Withdrawls...gotta love em right? WRONG I hate them. ick.
So, we cut all the bills down and we STILL don't have enough money to pay everything. I was suppose to go tomorrow and get my background check done for nursing school. Doesn't look like we'll be doing that. First, I don't have enough gas to get me through the weekend, and second, we don't have the money to pay the $50 for the fee. Love life. It keeps throwing punches, but we keep bobin' and weavin'
I should be doing my Visiting teaching, or making a grocery list; you know-useful things...but I just feel so eh.
Stephanie wants me to teach her German. Zsusanna is suppose to be helping me learn more Spanish. When I try to recall Spanish phrases, the first thing that pops into my mind is German. :-( I'd say I'm too old to learn anything, but that's a crock and I know it. I'm still young enough...but I feel so overwhelmed really. Lots going on. At least, I feel like I have lots going on. Probably not as much as other people have going on-but for us I feel like it's a lot.
Picking up Stephanie from school every day REALLY sucks. I hate it. They won't let the kids walk to their cars any more, so I have to go through "the circle". I hate the circle. I don't even leave the house until Stephanie is OUT of school. Even then when I get there-the place is still packed. I hate it.
Tuesday is cheerleading, and Wednesday is Church and dance class.
Add work to any and every one of these days.
I keep getting side-tracked by Ghost Whisperer. Stephanie is watching, and I don't wanna watch, but it's interesting. Oh well, guess I'm gonna resign myself to watching the rest of it.
I'll worry about our "money problems" later.
I also feel buggy. You know the feeling you get when you feel like bugs are crawling all over you, but they are not? Like you just found out your close friends have lice, but you have not been able to go home and check youself out. Grrrrrr, I feel nasty buggy. (no, nobody has bugs)
I didn't take my meds last night, because it was too late to take them when I got home. I wanted to be able to wake up in the morning and go to work. Really, it was only one night; but today (tonight actually) I feel really on edge, and irritated, and blah. I seem to have a short fuse. Withdrawls...gotta love em right? WRONG I hate them. ick.
So, we cut all the bills down and we STILL don't have enough money to pay everything. I was suppose to go tomorrow and get my background check done for nursing school. Doesn't look like we'll be doing that. First, I don't have enough gas to get me through the weekend, and second, we don't have the money to pay the $50 for the fee. Love life. It keeps throwing punches, but we keep bobin' and weavin'
I should be doing my Visiting teaching, or making a grocery list; you know-useful things...but I just feel so eh.
Stephanie wants me to teach her German. Zsusanna is suppose to be helping me learn more Spanish. When I try to recall Spanish phrases, the first thing that pops into my mind is German. :-( I'd say I'm too old to learn anything, but that's a crock and I know it. I'm still young enough...but I feel so overwhelmed really. Lots going on. At least, I feel like I have lots going on. Probably not as much as other people have going on-but for us I feel like it's a lot.
Picking up Stephanie from school every day REALLY sucks. I hate it. They won't let the kids walk to their cars any more, so I have to go through "the circle". I hate the circle. I don't even leave the house until Stephanie is OUT of school. Even then when I get there-the place is still packed. I hate it.
Tuesday is cheerleading, and Wednesday is Church and dance class.
Add work to any and every one of these days.
I keep getting side-tracked by Ghost Whisperer. Stephanie is watching, and I don't wanna watch, but it's interesting. Oh well, guess I'm gonna resign myself to watching the rest of it.
I'll worry about our "money problems" later.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
