Family Ties

Does anyone remember that show?  When Alex Keaton was in Kindergarten, he had green mittens that had money signs on the palms.  Skippy had green mittens too, (just with no money signs) that's how they became friends.  Why do I remember that?  Why do I remember any kind of useless crap like that?  My mind sometimes is a non-filter memory machine--but when it comes to me remembering the important things, sometimes I'm a little lax.  Just a little.  But seriously, talking about long term things, I can remember a LOT of stuff.  It's just that short term brain thing I need to work on.

So, family.  How do you define yours?  What is your family?  Today I had to draw on the love I have for my family to stay with my job.  I told my mom about the day I had (because my husband doesn't usually like to hear about the grossness at work), and I felt a teeny bit better.  My husband asked me to tell him about my day, because he knew I had a REALLY bad day.  After telling him, I looked back and I can't believe I let so much ruin my day.

Today was one of those days everything got to me.  EVERYTHING.  I even said to myself:  "If my family didn't need me to keep this job, I would walk out, even though I would lose my license."  I don't like being taken advantage of, I don't really think anyone does, but today it seemed that I was, not belittled, but berated maybe because I am a caring/thourough person in my care as an aide. 

The ADON (that would be assistant director of nursing) called me in to have me ask her what is wrong with a patient.   When I mentioned something she said "Oh, I didn't even see that, what else is wrong here."  Finally I gave in and said "What?!?  What is wrong?"  It did set the tone for the whole day, but really; I'm a DAMN good CNA, and I'm seriously thinking about taking my "compassion" skills somewhere else.  I give good care, I just don't have enough time to give the highest quality of care I can with the current patient load.  I have to do "run throughs" on some people.  I have a resident who actually asked me one time to "run her through the car wash"; meaning she wanted a quick shower.  But, as I sit here I think-how did she come up with that analogy?  Did she think it up?  Did an other aide say that to her?  I don't know, but it's got me thinking.

So, back to family.  My family is the CORE of everything I do.  Whenever I have a thought, I think about how it'll affect my family life.  I don't much go out, because I'll miss out on my family time.  My kids are not going to be home the rest of the life (Despite Zsusanna's adament remarks.)  I have to be here to enjoy them.  I have to be here to encourage them.  I have to be here, to be their mother.  I can go out after they are moved away, or even in college.  (once again, Zsusanna is insistant she is only going to stay in the dorms for freshman year)  Today it just reaffirmed to me that I love my family, and how near and dear they are to me.  So much so, that I would deal with my crappy day and not let it get me to quit.

I came home and warned the children.  "Mommy had a bay day, let me calm down."  Too bad the dog doesn't understand American English!  I was trying to relax in my room, when I stood up to come into the living room, the dog jumped up and knocked the glass of pop in my hand, spilling it on my comforter.  I tried to knock if off/clean it up, before it sunk it, but it was too late.  The splatter reached farther than I had originally thought.

It's alright....
It's ok....

Because this is what makes life all worthwhile:



Thank goodness their room doesn't look like that any more, or I may come home and wanna pull my hair out too!


So, just to give a little shout out to my family here.  I love you guys and you all make my days worth it.  With out you, I would truely be nothing.

"I care"

I have said this past weekend that my "I care" button has been broken.  It seems that there is nothing I can do for myself that will cause me to actually WANT to do something for anyone what so ever.  I'm burnt out on caring.  It's a fact.  I want to walk around flicking people in the ear, or in the back of the head and tell them what's wrong with them.  I don't, because well, that would be REALLY bad, but I sure as heck don't wanna give a crap about someone  I don't like very much.  (no, not my husband-but a couple of my kids maybe...or, well, I'll leave some imagination for you guys.)
Anywho, I really have had a hard weekend at work, actually this whole past week was horrible.  State showed up this week to do their yearly survey.  They walk around, make sure everything is a kosher dill pickle, and all that jazz.  Well, we got one tag, just like last year we only got one tag.  Thankfully it wasn't the SAME tag.  Last year it was dining, this year it was call lights.  So, on top of that stressfull situation, our lead CNA was out on vacation, along with our unit manager, and one of our regular girls.  So, as back-up lead CNA, I got to play leader while state was in the building.  So, I got to do my assignment (which has some very flickable people on it-but I would NEVER. EVER.) make sure all the paperwork was up to date, and make sure all my own paperwork was completed, then run around behind everyone else and make sure THEIR paperwork was completed.  It was too much.  I'm burnt out.  I need a vacation from this past week.  I need a $5/hour raise just because of last week alone.  There were some problems end of the week (I told you I don't really flick people) that I thought I would have to stick up for a resident (even though they were in the wrong) because she fully has her mind and knew the consequences of her actions.  I can not force someone who is there own person to do the right thing, even if they are wrong.  Not my job. 

anyway....sorry....moving on...

Today is Sunday, and we are broke.  I have less than a half tank of gas, a tire with a nail in it, and no cat food.  We have just enough money in the bank to cover the auto payment for the a/c that is coming out at the end of the week.  PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE let Friday get here before we go negative in the bank.  We have not been negative in the bank for a long time.  We do have a pretty strick budget that we pretty well keep to, but there are a few times a year we look and think, wow...did we party last night?  Cause if we are that low, I wanna at least think that I've had fun blowing it all.  Sheesh.  Being a grown-up is hard work, like, REALLY hard work.

I should totally be in bed.  It's 15 minutes past my bedtime.  But at least I can say that our lead CNA will be back tomorrow, and she can have her cursed position.  I would've loved to take her assignment, and have JUST 4 people to take care of, cause then I could actually make sure that EVERYTHING was done properly, and not just "I think" it's done properly.

I can't wait until tomorrow at 3:15pm when I can walk out those side doors at work and say SEE YA!  I mean, really...seriously....I'm gone!  At least tomorrow I'll have that extra 20 minutes that I won't be stuck in the back room supervising breakfast.  20 minutes is an other person out of bed!  If I can get to that tomorrow, I'll be set for the day!  I don't even remember what it's like not having to be all rushed rushed, and actually having time to be able to help my co-workers.  The prospect of it is awesome!  (watch tomorrow be the biggest pain in the butt day)

Anywho....on a COMPLETELY different note...

Saturday is BIG grocery shopping day.  Like, 2 shopping carts kinda grocery shopping.  (oh wait, I live in the south....they call them buggies! ha ha)  Gonna stock up a little bit on some food storage.  Found out the family likes Aldi's instant mashed potatoes.  They only use water, so in an emergency situation, they would be easier to make than other instant potatoes that require water, milk, and butter to make.  Also, their green beans are ok.  Corn is-eh.  I'm a little unimpressed with their corn.  Tastes to me like field corn, but how on earth would I know what field corn tastes like?  Well, that's an other story.


;-)



oh yeah, and the bitch pills worked....crap-well, sorta crap