blah-ity blah blah blah blech

I just feel so...meh

I also feel buggy.  You know the feeling you get when you feel like bugs are crawling all over you, but they are not?  Like you just found out your close friends have lice, but you have not been able to go home and check youself out.  Grrrrrr, I feel nasty buggy.  (no, nobody has bugs)

I didn't take my meds last night, because it was too late to take them when I got home.  I wanted to be able to wake up in the morning and go to work.  Really, it was only one night; but today (tonight actually) I feel really on edge, and irritated, and blah.  I seem to have a short fuse.  Withdrawls...gotta love em right?  WRONG I hate them.  ick.

So, we cut all the bills down and we STILL don't have enough money to pay everything.  I was suppose to go tomorrow and get my background check done for nursing school.  Doesn't look like we'll be doing that.  First, I don't have enough gas to get me through the weekend, and second, we don't have the money to pay the $50 for the fee.   Love life.  It keeps throwing punches, but we keep bobin' and weavin'

I should be doing my Visiting teaching, or making a grocery list; you know-useful things...but I just feel so eh.

Stephanie wants me to teach her German.  Zsusanna is suppose to be helping me learn more Spanish.  When I try to recall Spanish phrases, the first thing that pops into my mind is German.  :-(  I'd say I'm too old to learn anything, but that's a crock and I know it.  I'm still young enough...but I feel so overwhelmed really.  Lots going on.  At least, I feel like I have lots going on.  Probably not as much as other people have going on-but for us I feel like it's a lot. 

Picking up Stephanie from school every day REALLY sucks.  I hate it.  They won't let the kids walk to their cars any more, so I have to go through "the circle".  I hate the circle.  I don't even leave the house until Stephanie is OUT of school.  Even then when I get there-the place is still packed.  I hate it.
Tuesday is cheerleading, and Wednesday is Church and dance class.
Add work to any and every one of these days.


I keep getting side-tracked by Ghost Whisperer.  Stephanie is watching, and I don't wanna watch, but it's interesting.  Oh well, guess I'm gonna resign myself to watching the rest of it.

I'll worry about our "money problems" later.

Watching General Conference

1. forget not to be patient with yourself

2. forget not the difference between a good sacrifice and a poor sacrifice

3. forget not how to be happy now

4. forget not the WHY of the gospel

5. forget not, that the Lord loves you

These were the points made by President Dieter F. Uchtdorf tonight at the Womens Session. 

Life as we know it

Is about to change in approxamately 3 months.  I recieved my confirmation letter from HCC for the nursing program.


 But right now, I'm not exactly thinking about that.  I'm thinking of the spiritual well being of my family.

I'm to angry/hurt/mad/confused/pissed/heart broken to blog right now.  Guess we'll all have to wait out the "emotion" storm Amber is about to go through to see what's going on, and how I'm going to handle it.  Probably the same way as always, so we end up right back here.  Just sit and wait and see if anything changes, knowing FULL WELL it won't.

amazing how I planned on blogging about nursing school, but the kids got me side tracked to something completely different.

Reading. I'm actually READING!

Since we did some budget cuts, and got rid of the easy entertainment in the house, I took my second oldest to the library and paid her $10 fine.  (My fine is almost $40.)  So, I unrestricted her card after we reinstated it.  We can get out like, a ridiculous amount of books.  I mean, seriously, I think they said we could get out 50 books.  Really?  Do we need 50 books?  SHEESH PEOPLE.
Any who....back to the story.
I got a book.  YAY!  That's right, I, me, got a book.  Now, I love reading, so really getting a book isn't like the end of the world, but I do have  4 kids and a full time job-so when do I have time to read?  Normally I don't, but today I did.  We went to visit family about an hour and a half away, and so I REALLY got to read a lot.  I'm reading "The Kid-Friendly ADHD and Autism Cookbook".  I've always been interested in what food does to Brina.  (ADHD)  There are things in this book that make so much sense, even when applied to myself. 
I've tooled around with taking gluten out of our diets before, because I had heard that some ADHD children have an intolerance or even an allergy to it; like it just kinda comes with the territory.  So, now that I'm reading, and learning, I can see things that completely correlate with what is being said in the books.   So, of course I want to see if removing these things from our diets bring changes that others have seen.  If not, what's wrong with a little experiment?  Nothing at all.  The family still gets food, and I get the satisfaction of knowing if I'm right or wrong.

So, while I was grocery shopping a few weeks ago, I found this.  I'm not sure if I was allowed to take the picture or not.  I really don't know, but it reminded me of my friend Lisa.   The row above it was GF (gluten-free) also.  I'm thinking I may have to buy some of this and frequent it.  Although, I complain about having to pay almost $2 for a loaf of cheap candy white bread.  However, eating better, and possibly making my child have an all over better feeling about herself and life-is fully worth it.  My husband isn't so keen on my idea of eliminating things out of our diet, but if I make it so he can't taste that anything is missing, then I don't think he'll fight me too hard on that.  I think it just reaffirms for me that I know in my heart what I need to do for my child.  Many times I have prayed over what to do with her, how can I as a mother, HER mother, the one God chose to care for this precious child on this Earth, best care for her.  I pray every day, and often I pray about what to do about "things" with the family and the girls.  I'm going to take the plunge next grocery day (in a little over a week.  I've gone back to shopping for 2 weeks.  It is cheaper, but I got away from it, because I was lazy, and shopping became a chore.  I'm going to head on over to Lisa's and see what's up over there.  She's my GF momma friend who rocks.

Tomorrow Zsusanna gets her learners permit.  We tried to get it Friday, but we were too late, and the tax office wasn't accepting drivers license business any more, and then when we went to the DMV, the woman who was checking people in said "I can't serve everyone, but you all can make an appointment.  I have cut the line and after that you'll need to make an appointment."  Problem is, she never told us where she "cut" the line off.  So, tomorrow is the day!