El año de la murte

So, this is how I do it huh?

Every year or so, make a blog posting, saying I'm gonna change my world,only to come back a year later in the same boat, or like this year a little worse off.
This year is barely half over, And my family has experienced a lot of death. The year started with my step-mom. It was hard. We were close at one point, but I'm not sure what happened completely, but in the end, we were mending our relationship,she had apologized for things she thought was her fault, and I forgave her, even if they were things I feel she didn't do.  She was is my parent, and I love her deeply.

My step-grandpa died, my moms cousin died, my aunts brother died, and that is just family. I have friends who have lost one of their parents.  This year is "El año de la muerte". I'm afraid for the rest of the year.

I don't want to be a tally mark for the year.

I don't want my husband to be a tally mark for the year.

and I most certainly don't want my children to be a tally mark.

TIME FOR CHANGE:
There has been a shift in my mind. I no longer crave instant gratification. I realize things take time, and that there is joy in the progress.
I'm hoping this is a permanent change in my mentality.  I'm fighting to keep it that way, acting as such daily since my mind flip.
So, in a year in a half, when I come back (you know that's my m.o.) I want to be able to say I changed, not the same 'ole same 'ole.

Here's to hopefulness!