Feel the BUUURRRRRRRNNNNNN

Been a while since I've come here, as often is the case.  Blogging seems to come and go for me, not that I don't enjoy it, but with the way I'm so sporadic about it, you wouldn't think I actually like it.

Lately I've been dealing with the realization that I have some kind of nerve damage in my left thigh.  I don't know what happened, but for the past year it has been getting progressively worse.  It use to only bother me after I worked 4 8-hour days in a row at the nursing home.  Now, I find myself hurting after just one day at the hospital.
Since I've made the decision to actually GO to the doctor about this problem, I've been paying more attention to it.  (Where as before I was trying to ignore it, because I figured my legs were just fatigued.) I want to get an accurate account of what it really and truly feels like so I can tell the doctor what is going on.  Most of the time, it's just numb, and if I'm just sitting it doesn't feel like (much of) anything.  However, at work, by the time my shift is over, it feels like water is dripping on that part of my leg.  There are times when I look down at my leg and will actually put my hand on it to make sure it's not wet, because it feels wet.  Just to let you know, it's never been wet.  This is what started to concern me.  I'd never heard of this sensation-in fact it just may be something that I end up googling now, because I'm thinking of it.
During discharge instructions I tell my patients "If you experience any numbness, tingling, or loss/change of sensation seek immediate medical attention."  What would I tell my patient if they described this?  There lies the problem-I'm not one of my patients, and I never take my own advice.
Anywho...back to it.
So, as I've been working 12 (read 13+) hour shifts, the sensation in my leg has changed.

• There is a spot on my leg that is completely numb
• There is a spot on my leg that itches ALL...THE....TIME....
• It now burns when I wear shorts.  This just started yesterday (that I've noticed)  I put on a pair of shorts to go to the store, and noticed that every time I would take a step, right where the bottom of the shorts leg hit my leg it felt on fire.
• Wearing pants doesn't cause the area to burn like shorts.  Then again, the only pants that I wear are scrubs, which are light weight.
• I woke up this morning with my leg feeling like it was on fire.  :(  

I don't know if it's been happening long, or if I'm just making a mountain out of a mole hill.

I know what I'm feeling, and I don't like it.  

I wish I had never made the decision to pay attention to it, because now that I have, it's like it's screaming at me LOOK AT ME!!!!  I'M HERE!!!! SEE WHAT I CAN DO!!!!!

Sadly, I'm torn. 

I don't want to do anything about it, because I'm afraid I'm going to be told that I can't work any more in my chosen field.  I'm afraid they are going to tell me that I have to get off my feet.  I'm a nurse, how can I get off my feet?  I'm also afraid they'll tell me it's OK to work, but that I need to start taking medication.  I can't pass meds while I'm taking narcotics!  Even if they don't give me narcotics, there are other medications that can cause sedation until your body gets use to it.  I don't have the time or money to not work until "I'm use to it".

But, that's my mind running wild right?  I have not even GONE to the doctor.  Not even to the walk-in clinic.

So  I'm going to call a doctor office today, and attempt to set up an appointment.  That means it'll be a few months from now, because I'll either be a "new patient" or if I go back to the Health Clinic-well, it's a Health Dept Clinic, all their appointments are far out into the future.

It's all very disconcerting to me.

The other side is go to the doctor (as I said I would do) and take care of the problem.  I don't want to have to deal with my leg feeling like it's on fire every time I wear shorts.  Holy cow, I would have to live in my Capri's.  I don't particularly want to wear them all the time,  Girls camp is coming up, and I will need to wear shorts there.  Don't know how well that'll go over-probably do what I always do, push it to the side and ignore the pain.  

Well, on to the days list of things to do.  

Yes, calling and making a doctors appointment is on the top of that list.  (but I did rip up that list after finding out the doctor I planned on calling was part of the county health clinics-I still have the shreds of a list here though.)

Frustration sucks.