Wedding Day!

So, it's finally here.
The wedding that took an 8 year divorce.
Austin and Kieran are finally getting hitched.
(I told you, give me some slack on this day after thing. LOL)
It. Was. Beautiful.
Kieran did the whole thing herself. Flowers, decorations, food. Every last thing.

Austin's best friend from like, third grade was the officiant.  It was difficult, because both guys started to get emotional.  Me? I lose it when men lose it, but when one of those are my brothers.../sigh.  I didn't have a chance.

There was dinner, dancing, more dancing, of yeah, and booze.  Plenty of booze. There was "the grog of our lives".  This was a mixture of liquor from the areas that affected their life. I liked the idea, but since I don't drink, I didn't get any grog of life. (LOL, the name cracks me up) there was a "virgin grog" they said tasted the same, so I'll just take their word for it.

No one got inappropriately drunk. (Sorry Zadi) but it was wonderful, and I wish my whole family would've been there, and not just me.

I would've liked to dance with my husband.

But I digress.

Today's tally-
Austin and Kieran: infinite
Amber: 1 (I got to be there)
Sappy happy stuff: 3
Sappy sad stuff: 1

A trip of 490 miles begins with actually getting in the car.

Some family trips are for fun, some are for business. Today's trip was for business. (Well, yesterday, give me a break, I was (am) exhausted.
After my flights of....well, terror: I got to sit in the car for about ten hours with my sister mom, and step dad.  Wasn't too too bad, but going back makes me wanna jump on a greyhound from here. I know that's not reasonable, but between the flights and the ride....I'm ready to deal with the homeless people at the bus station.

It started off ok until we had to brake. Mom, please still sooner!  When Ashley says brake lights increasingly louder, please stop.... Please.

There was a speed trap in Indianapolis.  It was like....whoa. LOL. There were at least 8 people pulled over, and more police rushing to pull people over as we went under an overpass.  It was kinda scary, glad we didn't get pulled over.

Then, I-69 ended and we had to go am a surface highway for a few hours.
My step-dad wanted to know why we left the freeway. He was convinced that Google and Waze were taking the shortest distance, not the shortest time.. We tried to explain about settings, and how it uses real time information, but we were wrong and adding time onto our trip.
We stopped and had a really yummy lunch. Got the stare down from a few geese. I listened to music because I could hear people chewing-not their fault-they were eating. And then we packed up and grandpa drove.
...
...
The weaving in and out of traffic dramatically.  Freaking out because "what left? There's no left? Don't tell me a mile away I don't know" and then "you need to tell me in advance, I can't do real quick"
/facepalm

One fun thing my mom, sister, and I did was texting gibberish to each other.  That was fun.  (Typing in a word then seeing where your suggested words take you)

We made it to the base. Gate 4. I had to get my background check but the Florida DMV services weren't working.... 😕. Thankfully my ssn worked. We checked in, got our room assignment and found out is on the second floor.
Let the bickering begin!
"What do you mean the elevators don't work?"
"How are we gonna get out stuff up the stairs?"
"Don't they have people to help with that?"
"How am I gonna get up the stairs?"
We pull into a prime parking spot and I asked them to pop the truck. My sister says "why don't we see where the room is ?" I told her: it's the last room, so there are no other rooms, and since we know it's upstairs, why waste the trip?.  I grabbed the cooler (the heaviest of the stuff) and hauled it blindly to our room.
I was sick of hearing it.  Just grab the crap and go. We don't have the luxury of another room.
After we get settled, I wiped 2 days of travel off my body and put my pajamas on...only to ask my brother if they needed help setting up.  He says if we wanted to. 😕.
Me, my mom and Ashley went to help.
It wasn't a bad time, but I disappointed my brother by my girls not being there.  I'm not saying he didn't understand, but he was disappointed. I mean, he was disappointed when found out Imzadi wasn't going to be there, and now his nieces were not coming. 😢

The venue is beautiful. Austin and Kieran did a great job.

Misery: 1
Disappointment: 2
Annoyance: 4
Amusement (Amber): 1

Day one of the rest of my life...

They say things happen for a reason; but when you're the reason, and it's negative, it's time to do something about it.

A few days ago I started a food journal.  If I put it in my mouth, it goes on the paper.

I've started to question my choice in nursing.  I don't feel passionate about ortho. I don't think anyone does, seriously.  I've been in ortho for a while, I mean, the rehab center was for just that-joint surgeries.  It's time for a change! Now, what to do...

Yesterday I flew from Tampa to Charlotte, them Charlotte to Detroit.  I thought for sure I was a goner over Canada.  OMGosh it was really bad.
The realization that I seriously thought it was a possibility of crashing in Canada, and then probably being smashed and gnarled and chopped up the wind turbines-it makes a girl think.  It was so bad, I texted my Parm'ma'kai, even though I knew it wouldn't go through, I wanted him to know that I love him. 

I got to my mom's, and well, my family will tell you, I'm not a nice person when I'm tired. 5 hours of sleep in a 48 hour period....  So i ate dinner (Ella made tacos, they were amazing! Thank you Ella!). After eating I called the girls to say good night.  I fell asleep talking top the last 3.  So afterwards I went to sleep listening to the hockey game (thank you Zsusanna for the head phones.

So, here I am, awake at 0230am.  Contemplating "what's up".  Well....It's all about to change.  2016 is the year I pull my head out of my butt and take a look around.

Talley the score:   me: 0
                               Misery: 5

And that was only day one... Or was it... I don't know, but I'm saying day one.

I'm gonna try to go back to bed, it is after all 0300.'

These are the voyages of the Earthship, Amberprise

Sometimes, just sometimes, have to sit back and weather the storms that throws our way. 
First contact with other species (friendship).
Diplomatic missions (home/visiting teaching).
Away missions (work).
Ten forward (keeping up with the Jones's)
The Bridge (brain/emotional control)

The Battle bridge.

This is where I have spent the last 3 days.  The battle bridge.
Preparing for a battle, fighting a battle, licking my wounds, tending my pride, and my heart.
The battle bridge; where you can do the same exact stuff as in the regular Bridge, only with more feeling, and more gusto!

This is from October...Not sure why it didn't publish.
What was I trying to say, or not say by not publishing it. 
Sometimes I have no idea.

Early morning cuddles

Gator. LOL, he is my buddy.

Children are precious little reminders that life is not fair.

Today...what can I say about today...It's only 8am and I've already been overwhelmed, frustrated, angry, and at a loss.
I didn't take anything to help me sleep last night, yet when I woke up this morning, I just couldn't get up at first.  I sat on the side of the bed thinking about how tired I was.  Bill even asked me if I wanted him to take the girls to seminary.  No, this is my ritual.  My time with the girls in the morning.  I got up, stumbled dressed, and made my way out of the door.  I didn't make a scene, because it's early, no one wants to deal with my nonsense.
Get out the door, get into the car.  Stephanie has the headlights on, but the car is off.  Proceed to explain to her that it sucks the battery down, and she should always turn the car on first, and to make a long story short, I also explained that the car needs to circulate the oil through the engine before you just take off.

Drove to pick up the boy we pick up for seminary-gladly didn't feel like I was going to die at the hand of my 17 year old driving a projectile weapon.  However, it was conversations that happened, that allowed me to think that perhaps an accident would be ok, because at least then I wouldn't have to listen to 15 year old logic, because I would be in a completely different room.  (Of course then the mother in me kicks in and thinks how terrible of a mother I am for even considering this, because of course at that point I wouldn't be worried about my own health, and happy to be away from my children, but instead worrying about them, and wanting to be with them to make sure I'm there to oversee anything that is done to them, because after all, even though I want to hang them by their toe nails from the tree out back like a deer, I really do love them and don't REALLY want anything bad to happen to them.)

15 year old logic.  (OK, ok, she'll be 15 in 12 days.)  15 year old logic says that I should NOT be a parent to other peoples kids, and should just let things go, and let nature take it's course. (not her words, my interpretation)  I should not inform other parents of things I "found out" based on what a 17 year old says.  I'm just a horrible horrible person I guess.

Drop kids off at seminary.  Say good bye to all 3 kids, say see you tomorrow morning to the boy I pick up, and he looks at me like "huh?"  Then I realize that I normally say "Have a good day" and wonder if my change in words has aflicted him in some weird way.  Try to say bye to Stephanie, but she doesn't wanna be late, and my own brain fart made me late on telling her "I love you see you after school".  I also was thinking that I needed to speak with 15 year old logic girl, but realize they have 3 minutes before seminary starts, so I had to make it quick.  Overwhelming time crunch came down on me at that moment, and obliterated everything in my mind.  I looked at Brina and said "What's wrong"  (this in our house is a no-no with her.  This is when ADHD is not your friend, because the no-no can of worms is HUGE.)  She went on her speal for a few minutes and I told her "We'll talk about this later at home." and I reminded her that she is grounded and not going to her volleyball game because (surprise surprise) she has a D, no wait, she has TWO D's.  As she's walking away she is trying to explain P.E. class to which I say, just be there when I pick you up after school, to which she replies "I still need spandex"  What?  What does this have to do with the price of tea in China?  SERIOUSLY!!!!  Did I miss something? because for sure I wasn't in this conversation she was having.  I must have slipped into a time warp, or fell into a worm hole and went missing...something, because....I love my children...I love my children.

"Bye Brina, I love you."

I'm going to the gym.  I have my arm band, I have my headphones, I have my water, I have my key.  Where's my key?  OH....MY.....HOLY....CRAP....WHAT. THE. CRAP.  /smash head into wall.
My gym key is on my key chain at home, hanging in the kitchen on the key thing.  OK, no gym for Amber.  At this point, I had been awake for hour.  A completely frustrating hour.

Drive to Walgreen's, get morning drinkage with not much incident.

Come home, get Shelby up without much incident.

drive her to school without much incident.

get on Facebook and lose track of time with out much incident.

I really hope the rest of the day is without incident, because I'm not sure I can handle any more crap right now.

Although things I need to do:
1. Shop for car insurance.
2. Crochet
3.  Watch Voyager

2 of those 3 things are awesome, the other-not so much.

On that note....I'm walking away people...walking away.  Maybe I'll make myself some breakfast-or something.

Christmas in August

I know, it's now September, but seriously it was just August yesterday.

Went to Kmart yesterday with my husband and oldest daughter to get a few things, and found the Halloween section.  It was, of course and most properly, right across the aisle from the Christmas decorations.  The lawn chairs were also most properly facing the Christmas decorations, which were in turn flanked by Halloween candles, and Thanksgiving decorations.  I think Kmart said "Screw it, lets put everything out there and let the people decide.
There were some seriously cute candles!
...but I'm not paying $25 for one.  Just because they are flame-less, and when you turn it on there is a fan that makes the sparkles inside one fly around, and on another it makes little ghosts and skeletons chase each other.  I WILL NOT pay that much for them!  NO SIR!  (OK, I really really want one, but just can't justify $25 on something I'm going to put up once a year-oh wait how much was our Christmas tree?)

I'm actually excited for Christmas this year.  I was excited last year too.(I think)  WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME!

Anywho, I just wanted to come on here, let you all know (all one of you-Hubby Poo :D ;) ) that I'm still alive, and still (un)actively blogging.  LOL